I can't wait. I really don't want to be here any more. I really want to go. The feeling of delaying it is even worse. But i should deal with it. I've been through worse. Losing her was everything to me. at least i can leave in peace.
At lease I know she will be happy. Knowing what I need to do, and what I need to set up. Also what needs to be done makes it even harder for me. When I have already told others, People who I thought were close but, I don't know any more. They Know what I want now, so it's fine.
Fireworks will be nice. Pre Birthday presents for my self. ^_^